| by:
Steve Andreas
Brief Description, Table of Contents, Endorsements
Introduction
Chapter 9: Building a New Quality of Self-concept
Chapter 11: Changing the "Not Self"
Appendix: Perspective
Patterns
Brief
Description
This book presents simple and practical methods for discovering the content
and structure of your self-concept, and how to strengthen it and change
it to make it more durable, yet more responsive to the corrective feedback
that keeps it accurate.
Methods for utilizing and transforming mistakes are followed by processes
for positively transforming uncertain or unwanted aspects of yourself,
as well as transforming aspects that are negated.
Processes
for discovering and changing your unconscious boundaries so that they
protect you from others’ opinions, beliefs, and intrusions, are followed
by ways to adjust your boundaries so that you can connect with others
in shared intimacy, while retaining a secure sense of yourself.
Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Basic Understandings
1 Self-concept, Values, and Self-Esteem 10
How a self-concept that is aligned with
values results in self-esteem.
2 The Power of Self-concept 22
Why a good self-concept is a fundamental
key to your success in life.
3 Elements of a Healthy Self-concept 30
The essential criteria that make your self-concept
work well.
Strengthening the Self
4 Changing Structure 43
Discover and improve the unique structure
of your self-concept.
5 Changing Time 65
Make sure your self-concept functions well
all the time.
6 Changing Content
82
Enriching and enhancing who you are, and
what you can do.
Expanding the Self
7 Utilizing Mistakes 100
Your mistakes can make your self-concept
stronger and more accurate.
8 Transforming Mistakes 119
Using mistakes to become even more of who
you want to be.
9 Building a New Quality of Self-concept 133
Create an entirely new desired quality or
attitude for yourself.
Transforming the Self
10 Transforming an Uncertain Quality 155
Make a weak quality into a strong basis
for who you want to be.
11 Changing the “Not self” 180
Thinking of who you are not can be
destructive, and how to change it.
12 Transforming an Unwanted Quality 195
Change a negative attitude into the positive
one that you want.
Boundaries of the Self
13 Discovering and Changing Boundaries 217
How to create inner boundaries that protect
you more effectively.
14 Connecting with Others 239
How to be intimate, while retaining a strong
sense of yourself.
Closing 254
Appendix: Perspective Patterns
261
About the Author 274
References 276
Index 278
Endorsements
“‘Everybody
talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it,’ and
the same is usually true of self-concept and self-esteem. This book is
a happy exception. With specific instruction, real-life examples, and
an all-important sense of humor, Steve Andreas unpacks this vitally important
process clearly and succinctly, going ‘under the hood’ to show
you how to rebuild, fine tune, and change your self-concept and self-esteem.”
—Bill O’Hanlon,
MFT, author/coauthor of 20 books, including Do One Thing Different
and In Search of Solutions.
“I
use the simple, yet transformative, processes in this book regularly in
my practice with astounding results—ten times the progress in one
quarter the time. Every therapist would do well to add these skills to
their repertoire.”
—Lonnie Barbach,
Ph.D. Psychologist, author of For Yourself and The Pause
“In
this innovative and engaging book, Steve Andreas provides a clear lens
for better seeing the core of who we are. In the process, he shatters
some popular but silly myths about self-concept and self-esteem, replacing
them with useful concepts and practical strategies for enhancing who we
are, and who we think we are.”
—Michael D.
Yapko, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, author of Breaking the Patterns
of Depression.
“If
you read only one book this year, make it this one. While the world of
psychotherapy is dizzy trying to learn techniques, here is one of the
very few books that provides enduring value! Bringing the logic and specificity
that only Steve Andreas can, this long overdue book aboutthe positive
development of self raises the benchmark for how we can achieve personal
growth and health.”
—Stephen Lankton,
MSW, DAHB, author of 15 books, including The Answer Within,
Practical Magic, and Tales of Enchantment
“This
work is the best and most thorough example of NLP modeling
excellence that I have. The organization, sequencing, breadth of thinking,
and rigor in distinguishing between structure/process and content shines
throughout. I love the teaching style: clear distinctions, examples, humor,
demonstration, and gems of practical wisdom in every chapter. I have used
many of these methods in my own life, and my clients are also using them
to get immediate results.”
—Kirk VandenBerghe,
NLP Trainer, Author, Speaker, and Coach.
“In
this beautiful and often brilliant book, Steve Andreas addresses the core
distinction of personal identity. Rather than allowing identity to be
merely a result of external forces, he shows how you can skillfully participate
in the ongoing construction, deconstruction, and rebirthing of a happy
and helpful sense of self. The examples are lucid, the methods are practical
and eminently useful, and the writing is exceptionally clear. I highly
recommend it!’
—Stephen Gilligan,
Ph.D., author of Therapeutic Trances and The Courage to Love
"This
is a most remarkable book. Many have traveled to the misty land of identity
and self-concept, but until now, none have returned witha comprehensive
framework of understanding. It is elegant, understandable, and above all,
eminently practical. Steve Andreas takes you on an exciting journey of
curiosity, exploration and self-discovery through demonstrations, guided
exercises, stimulating discussion, and ample humor. Take this journey;
you will be richly rewarded."
—Glen Johnson,
M. D., psychiatrist
"Reading
this book is like inviting Steve Andreas “all shaggy and warm”
right into your living room. You expect to have your eyes opened about
self-concept, and they are. Then it turns out to be much more: an exploration
of many of the ins and outs and mysteries of being human, too. Steve’s
astonishing directness and inviting confidence make it all easy to hear
and take in."
—David Gordon, author
of Therapeutic Metaphor
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